Week 30 - Pen power

"There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up a pen to write." (Makepeace Thackeray)

Struggling to make a decision or get something done? I find that sometimes this is down to a habit of mine where I will continue to allow things rattle around in my brain, rather than committing to coordinating my thoughts and putting them on paper. The suggestion is that clarity will come (and with it action) when we put our thoughts out into the open.

Question: What goal have you been struggling to achieve?

Action: Get a pen and paper and write down 3 to 5 actionable steps that would help you to realise this goal. Afterwards, do them!

Week 29 - You know me so well?

"If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants." (Chapman)

Gary Chapman emphasises the importance of understanding the needs and desires of loved ones. He believes that we can show our love for others in one of the following ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, passing on gifts, spending quality time and physical touch.

In line with the above quote, he suggests that we should be aware of which of the above are likely to make our loved ones feel loved. I still haven't this cracked, but I think I've come a long way from the day that I bought my mother a scrubbing brush, ice-cream scoop and garlic crusher for her birthday.

Question: Which of the above are most important to the people most important in your life?

Action: If you're not sure what the answer is to the above question, go ask them (and maybe use the listed five as a scaffold). Even if you think you know, go ask them. Afterwards, get cracking with one of the five.

Week 28 - Where are you from?

"The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members." (Coretta Scott King)

During a recent chat with a friend of mine, I was reminded of the power of communities when they're operating at full capacity and its members are working together to support each other. Perhaps, the village effect and power of local human connection has started to diminish over the last number of decades?

Question: How have you benefited from being part of your community?

Action: Make a positive contribution to your village/town/city this week, trying to commit to something you've either not done for quite a while or never before.

Week 27 - Timepeace

"The day will never come when you have everything under control." (Burkeman)

Oliver Burkeman's book, Four Thousand Weeks (final reflection on this text for a while, I promise), offers an alternative perspective on the time management debate. He builds a case for making peace with the fact that you will never control time. In fact, he argues that a relentless focus on getting things done is likely to generate a greater amount of anxiety than relief.

Question: How does embracing the idea that time is finite and you can't get everything done sit with you?

Action: Remember, if you say yes to something, you are always saying no to something else. That's okay!

Week 26 - How much for those?

"At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
Among others, red, green, hard as a knot.." (Heaney)

A recent stroll got me thinking about free stuff and the amount of satisfaction to be gained from things that don't cost a cent. On that day, I enjoyed my bit of blackberry picking on a quiet road near my house.

Question: What do you enjoy that is completely free of charge?

Action: Head off and do some harvesting on a country lane or in a woodland near you. Maybe there's a bunch of flowers within walking distance and waiting to be picked for your kitchen table.

Week 25 - How're things? Seriously!

"Don't underestimate the power of a sincere query."

It might be worth noting how many questions we ask each week that don't get the depth of response they could do (e.g. How're things? What's up? Any news?). Essentially, these are synonyms for hello, but maybe they could prove more worthwhile with a little more digging.

Question: What would be the potential implications of following up with the same question again, every now and then?

You- How are you?

Other- Fine.

You- Seriously, how are you?

Action: Send a message or make a call to someone who has been on your mind recently and ask them how they're doing (and then ask them again).

Week 24 - The magic 8 hours?

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” (Hemingway)

I understand that the prevailing wisdom probably suggests that we're on the hunt for 8 hours (+ or - 1 hour) of sleep per night. While I'm not going to claim to be any kind of sleep scientist, I know that it is very straightforward for me; the better my sleep, the better I am on a daily basis. When I sleep well, I'm typically friendlier, more energetic, calmer and [insert positive word here]. Perhaps your current sleep routine is worth exploring?

Question(s): On occasions when you're looking to ensure solid sleep, what types of changes do you make to your sleep routine? How could a few of these become part of your daily sleep routine?

Action: Experiment with charging your phone in a different room at nighttime.

Week 23 - Staying out of trouble

“It’s very difficult to listen your way into trouble.”

If you’re not talking, you’re more likely to stay in the good books of others, or at least that has been my experience over the last number of years. Typically, I’ve upset, disappointed, frustrated, annoyed or angered another person by saying something instead of staying silent.

Question: Who do you know that speaks less than most? What have you noticed?

Action: Spend the week biting your tongue more often than is normal for you.

Week 22 - Wantitis

"I think you'll find that you've got a bad case of wantitis , young man." (A friend of mine to her small fella)

For many reasons, the lines between wanting and needing regularly become blurred when it comes to making purchases. Taking time to consider the need for buying certain things could have a positive impact on your funds and is likely to have no negative implications. My mind is immediately drawn to the bread machine, flippers and foldable picnic bench gathering dust in and around the house.

Question: How many of this week's planned purchases are essential? How many are worth reconsidering?

Action: Throw any online purchase into a shopping basket this week, leave for 72 hours and come back to make the call then.

Week 21 - That fella? Great lad!

"When we change our stories we change our life." (Divilly)

In his book, Fit Mind, Pat Divilly emphasises the significance of addressing our inner dialogue and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. In fact, he goes so far as to suggest that enhancing how we speak to ourselves could be the most important act of self-care.

Question: How do you speak to yourself about yourself on a daily basis?

Action: The next time you're experiencing a challenging situation, be a little kinder to yourself; try and work through the problem by offering yourself advice as if you were a close friend (Kross).