Week 10 - I'm an athlete

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” (James Clear)

In Atomic Habits, James Clear discusses the importance of figuring out what kind of person you want to be (e.g. healthy person, athlete, better sleeper), before you start on your habit formation journey. He suggests that this focus on identity, rather than goals, can provide a solid foundation in the development of good habits.

Question: What kind of person do you you want to be? ("I want to be a/an _________ )

Action: (a) Write down the different types of things that the above kind of person does. (b) Experiment with a few small actions from your list that could help you move towards your chosen identity.

Week 9 - Breathe!

"If we breathe in a slow and relaxed way we send a signal to our brains that the world around us is safe and calm." (Rangan Chatterjee)

Discussions in the wellbeing space regularly include a focus on breathwork, mindfulness and/or meditation. While, I have been working on making improvements in my approaches to the above, I still find prolonged periods of engagement a challenge. Recently, however, I have started to see the benefits of bringing more awareness to my breathing across the day in an effort to slow down myself and the world around me.

Question: What kinds of events typically encourage you to notice your breathing? What does this say about your breath awareness from moment to moment and day to day?

Action: Complete one box breath after your morning shower: breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, hold for four seconds (total = 16 seconds). If you've a spare 16 seconds or two, do a few more. Maybe another box breath when your head hits the pillow at nighttime might also prove helpful?

Week 8 - Let me get this straight

"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." (Anaïs Nin)

I know that in my interactions with others I'm often guilty of moving quickly through what I have to say, giving little time for digestion and then driving on to what I have to do next. Similarly, when listening to others, I often feel like I've only gathered around 60(ish)% of what they're talking about. It's difficult for anyone to go about getting things done effectively when there's this continuous lack of comprehension.

Question: When/Where do you feel most misunderstood or do most of your misunderstanding?

Action: Having finished listening to someone this week, in the interest of trying to clarify and ensure clarity, try repeating information back and asking something like, "Before I ________, am I right in saying that you want/need/are suggesting ________?"

Week 7 - What do you do all day?

"I don't have time for (fill in the blanks)!"

Without taking the time to improve your awareness of how you spend your waking hours, it could prove challenging to give an honest evaluation of how much time you have for the things you want to do (James Clear). As an example, is it a case that you're claiming that you don't have time to knit, walk or have a cup of tea with a friend, but you actually spend three hours every evening watching some form of television/tablet?

Question: What do you do from minute-to-minute on a daily basis? Where can you create space?

Action: Squeeze/Shorten the time you spend at one thing (e.g. watching television) and dedicate it to something else.

Week 6 - What helps?

"I'd rather be reading!"

Being aware of the things that bring us joy can be very helpful when faced with challenging times (or at any time really). For me, these include sleep, reading, cake, writing, music, tea or coffee, football in the back garden with the smallies and coastal walks.

Question: When are you happiest? List the things that bring you joy.

Action: If you are struggling across this week, activate something from your list. If you've no list, I find a short walk normally does the trick for me.

Week 5 - Just one tooth!

”When it comes to most life changes that people want to make, big bold moves actually don't work as well as small stealthy ones.” (BJ Fogg)

A number of researchers, including BJ Fogg and James Clear, highlight the importance of making habits easier and transforming them into something small, attainable and sustainable. BJ Fogg managed to make flossing a habit by committing to just one tooth (jus un ooooof) each time.

Question: What habit would you like to introduce into your daily life? How can you make this habit tiny?

Action: Commit to flossing one tooth every evening, taking three deep breaths after your shower, two squats whenever you wash your hands or something else as tiny.

Week 4 - What now?

“...begin to look at choices and opportunities.” (Edith Eger)

Following on from any difficult situation, Edith Eger highlights that we have two ways that we can approach the different challenges that emerge; we can ask either ,"Why me?" or "What now?" She suggests that focusing on the second question is a positive step forwards.

Question: What strategies typically work for you when you're trying to face a challenge in the right frame of mind?

Action: Next time you feel stuck in an awkward event, try the following: (a) acknowledge the problem (b) think about your strategy (c) make a plan to move forwards.

Week 3 - Com Parison: Joy Thief

"Comparison is the thief of joy." (Roosevelt)

Depending on the situation, comparing ourselves to others can be a source of discomfort or inspiration. Sometimes, we allow our reflections on how others are doing to send us into a spiral of negativity. At other times, looking at the positive aspects of others can help us to refocus on our own goals.

Question: Who do you compare yourself to from day-to-day? What is the impact?

Action: Take note of somebody you admire (for all the right reasons) and see if there is anything that they do that might be worth integrating into your own day-to-day life.

Week 2 - Sssshhhhh

“Words will creep into silences.”

Giving others space to say their piece and time to follow up with other thoughts can prove very revealing.

Question: What would happen if you spent a week waiting until others had finished their sentences before you started speaking yourself?

Action: Give a little extra space during this week’s conversations; take an extra breath instead of launching into your next input.

Week 1 - Who you gonna call?

“Welcome, Board of Directors!”

Grace Lordan highlights how everyone should have a network to support them in exploring different areas of their lives. She emphasises the importance of affording others the opportunity to be the smartest person in the room.

Question: Who has a seat at your table of board of directors? How effective are they?

Action: Grab a piece of paper and note the names of those that could/should be able to support you in the above areas.